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Scientist Discovers that the Sasquatch is just a Personified Pile of Everyone’s Lost Bobby-Pins

Recent findings prove that Big Foot isn’t the big beast made of hair we all thought he was, but instead, just a big beast made of hair pins! If you ever wondered where your Bobby-Pins have disappeared to, look no further than the forests of North America. Your lost hair accessories have congregated together as a hidden civilization where they can live in peace away from dance recitals, beauty pageants, and annoying bangs.

A dendrologist on an expedition researching wooded land (for her future wedding ceremony), tripped over a log and noticed her Bobby-Pins hop off her terrible bangs and dive into a hole in the ground. She thought this was peculiar and after a week-long dig, she discovered the “Sasquatch” hair pin colony in all their glory. Some pins even shrieked at the site of hair for the first time in years - perhaps from the trauma of getting mangled in a ballerina bun.

The colony still inhabits the area, but most have since gone to therapy. Tours of their inhabitants are set to begin in the spring as more interest has arisen. Conservationists ask that, if you do visit, please do not take home a hair pin as a souvenir, they've been through enough. Your bags and pockets will be checked at the exit. As for the scientist, she has since been known as the "Jane Goodall" of the hair pins and is still set to get married on-location (but notified the press that her wedding party will not be donning up-dos at the reception).


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